No, I haven’t given up on Jamuary. I had to take some time off in order to fully recover from a lingering cold, and some weird form of writer’s block. This also had the side benefit of resetting my sleep schedule, which Jamuary had been shifting more and more out-of-whack. Even though the calendar month is over, I’ll be finishing that last six days’ worth, then going back to make up the four songs I missed earlier in the month.

This song came from an idea I had a couple of year ago, when meeting somebody professionally for the first time. One of my recurring anxieties is that I make a good first impression, but as somebody truly gets to know me, the façade crumbles and they see the true, disappointing me. This isn’t fair to myself, so if you have a problem with that, give Anxiety a call and ask it to please be more reasonable; I’m sure that’ll help. Anyway, this song is an examination of: what if that fear were true, and there were a person like that?

Lyrics

Give me a few years before I fully let you down

You’ll have to wait to turn your perception around

There’s no need to rush, I’ll charm you at first blush

And settle in to watch your goodwill come unwound

 

From first impression to worst impression, get set for a slow burn

Days and weeks and months will pass while all the tables turn

I’ll let you down so gently, you won’t notice the downward slope

By the time it’s all over, you’ll have run out of trust and hope

 

The change is so subtle you’ll never even catch

The slowly building stench of disappointment and regret

You’ll wake up one day, all goodwill worn away

And wonder why it took so long to fall off the edge

 

Don’t try reversing or fixing the trend

There’s only one way this relationship ends

A steady decline, where the blame is all mine

And no way to recover or start making amends